As we begin another new year, many of us look forward to the challenges and opportunities it brings with it. We often have a renewed sense of commitment at the beginning of the year and a burst of energy for the new goals we’ve set for ourselves. As we all know, after charging out of the gates, many of us eventually lose steam and ultimately fall short of the goals we set for ourselves.
It’s good to keep that in mind when thinking about our elderly loved ones, whether they’re still living at home, living in a nursing facility, or living in a care home like ours. As professional care home providers ourselves, we see this with the families of our residents. So here are a few things to think about as you approach the new year with your loved one, especially if they’re in the care of others.
Don’t: Set goals for your loved one.
Do: Set goals with your loved one!
We often have family members (typically the children of our residents) visit early in the new year, bringing their enthusiasm and energy for starting the new year off right. They arrive with their pre-made lists of goals and resolutions for Mom or Dad. This rarely goes as expected. No one likes to be told unilaterally what they should be doing to improve themselves. Instead, come prepared to have a dialogue, and start by asking what your loved one would like to accomplish in the new year. Don’t shoot any ideas down, no matter how unrealistic, but break them into smaller milestones. If Dad says he wants to walk to the store a mile away but he can’t make it to the bathroom by himself, support his aspirational thinking. Tell him you’d love to see him do that — and get started by setting the goal of walking the full length of the hallway. It’s OK to have a goal or two of your own for your parent or loved one. Just be sure to first discuss their interests, priorities, and what they value most to ensure that you set goals that are meaningful to them.
Don’t: Set goals and make plans without communicating with your caregivers.
Do: Communicate with your caregivers about your goals for your loved one!
Your loved one’s caregivers are often in the best position to understand their capabilities, including their physical and cognitive abilities. Leverage their expertise and insights to collaboratively set realistic and achievable goals. They can work with you and your family to set meaningful and realistic goals for your loved one, and avoid setting them up for failure. At LCH, we aim to set goals that are challenging but attainable, just like we would for ourselves. That way, even when our residents fall short of complete success, they demonstrate improvement just by trying — and that’s its own form of success.
Don’t: Set goals in just one area of well-being.
Do: Set goals across all domains of health!
At Legacy Care Home, we strive to improve residents’ lives across the full range of physical, mental, social and emotional health through our personalized care planning approach. It’s easy to fall into the trap of focusing on just one. Many families see the ability of their loved ones to remain mobile as the most important goal, but physical health alone doesn’t result in a robust and fulfilling life. We aim to support our residents’ physical health, by setting goals that improve mobility; their mental health, by providing stimulation through games, reading, music and other activities; their social health by encouraging participation in group activities; and their emotional well-being, by nurturing their sense of purpose, through things like hobbies, volunteering inside or (sometimes) outside of our home, documenting their family history, or other activities. If you’re still in the goal setting phase with your loved one, consider at least one goal in each of these domains, and connect with your caregivers to make sure your goals are meaningful and realistic.
Don’t: Set it and forget it.
Do: Monitor and adjust!
Setting goals for an elderly loved one isn’t like personal finance, where you can put your savings plan in place and go on autopilot. Goals need adjusting over time to accommodate changing circumstances. Again, be sure to collaborate with your caregivers on the goals you and your loved one set. They can help you continuously reevaluate progress and make adjustments for changes in your loved one’s health or preferences over time. They can also communicate with you about progress and setbacks alike, in between your visits if your loved one is in a care home or other facility. This is something we feel we do particularly well at Legacy Care Homes — collaborate, coordinate, and communicate with families about our residents, their progress, and their lives generally. And this leads to the final recommendation …
DO: KEEP IT POSITIVE!
Celebrate EVERY achievement, no matter how small — particularly intermediate milestones. Encouragement and positive feedback is so important. Avoid overloading them by balancing ambition with what’s realistic to prevent frustration. By fostering collaboration, focusing on achievable outcomes, and adapting over time, you can create a meaningful plan that enhances your loved one’s life, whether at home, in a care home like ours, or in another facility.
Please contact us if you have any questions about goal setting for your loved one, and please reach out if you would like to visit and see how we work with our residents to help them live their best lives!
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