We all hope to live into old age with the one we love.
But aging inevitably occurs at its own pace for each of us, which means that one of us is likely to eventually need more help than the other. The idea of being separated from our life partner when we most need them — in the later stages of life — can lead to stress, anxiety and even depression, which is why it’s important for partners and their families to begin researching care options early to allow them to remain together as much as possible, for as long as possible.
Consider a couple in retirement enjoying their lives together. Without warning, one partner suffers a setback in their health that puts them on a different path — a decline that affects their ability to handle the activities of daily living. While being a caregiver to your life partner is a natural and loving response, it is often not the best option in the long run. With the right type of care home environment, couples can resume being partners, not just caregivers and patients.
It’s important to look for care options that allow each resident to live their life to the fullest, safely maintaining the independence and quality of life they deserve. Our goal at Legacy Care Home is to provide a range of services to our residents that spans independent living with modest levels of assistance through specialized dementia and memory care. This allows us to care for couples whose care needs differ quite widely.
Meet John and Linda
One couple exemplary in this regard is John and Linda. Their care journey illustrates the range of options we can provide to our residents for remaining together as circumstances change. When we first met them, it was John who needed more care and assistance with the activities of daily living. John had experienced a series of minor strokes that resulted in muscle weakness and balance issues, making it physically difficult for him to perform some of his own personal care, including bathing, getting dressed, and using the bathroom. Linda was initially able to help John with these activities but the couple’s children were becoming increasingly concerned about their safety. They tried in-home care for a few weeks with some success, but they couldn’t afford around-the-clock care at home, which meant their mother was still bearing most of the burden of caring for their father as his health declined.
Phase 1: John Comes to LCH
After John’s second fall in as many months, the family visited one of our care homes for a tour. They were excited about the small setting and residential nature of our care home model. They also appreciated our customized meal plans and housekeeping services, since they could take the load off of their mother. After much discussion, the family decided to move John into a private room at one of our five small care homes in the metropolitan Twin Cities area — a location just minutes away from the couple’s own home. Linda initially remained in their home, living independently with the couple’s children close by. The arrangement allowed Linda to visit John nearly every day after his move. Unlike many care homes, LCH does not place restrictions on family visits. Family members are allowed to stop by any time and as frequently as they want. We encourage regular visits, particularly during the transition period, and Linda became a fixture. During this period, Linda was able to live independently, without the burden of being a full-time caregiver, but still be with her husband for several hours most days.
Phase 2: Linda Joins Her Husband at LCH
About a year later, the couple’s children met with us again to discuss their family’s changing needs. Their mother Linda was still physically healthy and capable, but she was beginning to exhibit early signs of dementia — forgetting things and having difficulty remembering words and phrases. She even struggled at times to recall the names of her grandchildren, whom she adored, and sounded confused and anxious on the phone.
Following our consultation, the family began planning for Linda to move into our home, where she could be back with her husband full time, under the care of our professional caregivers. At LCH, we feel we offer the best of both worlds: A small, personal, residential home environment — very different from an institutional setting — with a professional registered nurse on staff and a caregiving team that specializes in dementia and memory care. This meant that, despite their unique and very different care needs, John and Linda could continue to be together in a comfortable, safe, caring environment that felt like home and not a traditional care facility.
Personalized Care
John and Linda’s experience demonstrates how a couple with evolving and diverging care needs can still remain a central part of one another’s lives, while receiving the personalized care they need to live their best lives comfortably and safely. Linda was able to receive the specialized care we offer for dementia and memory loss, while John could get help with activities of daily living. Meanwhile, their children could enjoy peace of mind knowing that their parents were in a caring, home-like environment that treated them like the unique individuals they were.
Please feel free to contact us if you or a family member could benefit from the kind of personalized care planning we offer, and schedule a tour of one of our facilities.
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